Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tulsa King/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 4 May 2024 [1].

Tulsa King[edit]

Nominator(s): TheDoctorWho (talk) 06:51, 4 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Tulsa King is a streaming television series that is notable for being Sylvester Stallone's scripted television debut. The series is pretty well known for Stallone's performance. It has also set a few viewership records and has been the subject of a little controversy during second season production. In 2023 the series was nominated for a Creative Arts Emmy. Throughout the last few months I have put quite a bit of work into this article expanding it from a lower end C class all the way to GA. I believe it's now comprehensive enough to meet FA requirements. This will be my third FAC, and hopefully my second successful FA. I look forward to addressing any comments or concerns. TheDoctorWho (talk) 06:51, 4 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. Unfortunately at this point the article's prose needs significant improvement - I would suggest running it through GOCE and/or PR. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:51, 4 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h[edit]

Oppose - sorry :). Prose needs a significant shape up. But I'll leave some comments nonetheless.

  • "Terence Winter served as the series showrunner for the first season but was demoted ahead of the second due to "creative differences"." WP:SERVEDAS: "Terence Winter served as the series" ==> "Terence Winter was the series". Also there should be a comma before "but" in WP:AmEng.
  • "Upon release, his boss sends him to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to establish criminal operations there." why is there a comma after "Oklahoma"? Unless that's just me being the Australian i am.
  • "The following February, Winter was announced to have stepped down as showrunner due to "creative differences", with the search underway for a new showrunner, but would remain on the series as an executive producer." sentence could be more concise or split.

This isn't every comment i have, but some possible suggestions. Recommend taking this to WP:PR or WP:GOCE. This has the potential to be Featured, so I wish you luck. Best, 750h+ 15:21, 4 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

In the light of the comments above I am archiving this for off-FAC improvement. I would also recommend that the article be taken through GoCE and then PR prior to renomination. In any event, the usual two-week hiatus will apply. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:13, 4 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Was on my way to ping a coordinator and ask to withdraw the nom based on the comments. I'll hopefully bring this back around in due time. TheDoctorWho (talk) 18:18, 4 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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